Happy Birthday to the Worst Star Wars thing ever

Star Wars fans tend to be harsh. We love the franchise and characters so much that when near misses (Ewoks), true misses (most of the edits on the original trilogy by Mr Can’t-Leave-Well-Enough-Alone) and total abominations (Jar Jar Binks) show up we are vocal and even manic. Many are panicked over the Disney take-over of Star Wars and the coming episodes VII-IX. I’m not. I bet they surpass Episodes I-III and lead to great rides in the theme parks. But maybe that’s because I’ve already seen the lowest Star Wars can sink.

As an 8-year-old boy, a year removed from seeing Star Wars when it was first released into the theaters, I discovered true hell. On this day, November 17, in 1978, my family gathered to watch The Star Wars Holiday Special. The variety special that unfolded was so terrible, so ridiculous that I couldn’t even bring myself to watch it all again today for this post. I appreciated the YouTube commentator who said he was too high to watch this. That’s how bad it is.

Let’s share just a few lowlights of what’s been called “the worst two-hours of television.”

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Brave

Let’s begin with something simple…

  • Toy Story brought digital animation to life. And was perfect for both adults and kids
  • Bugs Life demonstrated Pixar wasn’t a one trick pony.
  • Toy Story 2 proved a sequel can be as good, or even better than the original.
  • Monsters, Inc. married celebrity and humor (and showed us digital fur)
  • Finding Nemo took an unexpected collection of situations and voices to make pure enjoyment.
  • The Incredibles proved action and a familiar genre could be give brilliant new life.
  • Cars was basically a cartoon remake of Doc Hollywood, but it made a lot of money and was still enjoyable.
  • Ratatouille let me love it (even though I don’t like rats and think rodents cooking – even in cartoon form – is disgusting).
  • WALL-E proved silence was captivating.
  • Up showed that a few minute montage could be better than most films. Squirrel!
  • Toy Story 3 reminded us you can go home again and that adults cry at cartoons.
  • Cars 2 was terrible and a merchandising whore. The first Pixar film I have not really loved or even liked.

And now Brave. Continue reading