Below is a collection of a few modern sins I’ve come up with in the format of the Yom Kippur prayer “Al Chet Shechatanu…” “For the sins we’ve committed.”
What are the modern sins you are guilty of? Post one in the comments below.
Al chet shechetanu… For the sins we have committed…
- For turning off The Daily Show before the interview if I don’t know the guest.
- For still having not watched The Wire.
- For checking Facebook instead of living my day.
- For buying Iced Tea every morning when I can make it for pennies and just as quickly as the time it takes to go to Starbucks of Dunkin Donuts.
- For using “Rabbi” Google instead the wall full of books to do Jewish research.
- For having 1000 TV channels, Netflix on Demand, an iPad, the entire Internet, satellite radio, dozens of books and magazines I haven’t read in paper form and digitally and ever saying, “There’s nothing to do.”
- For pretending that text messaging or a Facebook chat is equal to a phone call. For pretending a phone call is equal to seeing someone in person.
- For being more interested in the new iPhone than in the situation in Syria.
- For deleting voice mails half way through.
- For caring more about the plight of Walter White than the plight of…anyone else, anywhere.
- For texting – or adjusting my GPS or setting the radio or using the Internet or trying to figure out what that mystery button does or getting too deep into conversation or watching the scenery – while I should been driving (or biking or walking)
- For Skyping while not wearing pants.
- For buying something “As seen on TV” and getting upset when it doesn’t work
- For pretending you have a phone call in order to get out of a face-to-face conversation
- For acting like watching the movie is as good as reading the book
- For ever using phrases like “No homo,” “I’m not a racist,” or “jk” to cover up something that really is bigoted
- For the fact that Duck Dynasty and Here Comes Honey Boo Boo are hits
- For using your phone – for ANY reason – while sitting in a dark movie theater
- For posting all those FarmVille and Candy Crush updates and invites.
- For saying, “The email must have gotten lost,” when you know you never sent it
- For not donating blood, being an organ donor, having your bone marrow tested if you are physically able.
- For typing LOL when you really didn’t